My cat is looking at me with big yellow eyes in an adoring kind of way as I write this so I feel very mean but what an opportunity to moan about him! If I complaint about him to my loved ones, they just tell me to dump him back on the rescue sanctuary where he came from, 6 years ago. As you can tell from the fact that he has lived him my house for 6 years, I couldn't really do that to The Po.
The Po, who is really called Rolo, is a large, black witch's cat. We don't know his history. My husband and I decided we were grown up enough for a cat (now we have a daughter, who is much less trouble) and we went to choose one the day I'd done my first half marathon and could hardly walk. There were all kinds of gorgeous moggies there, purring and furring charmingly to us but we chose The Po because he was so scared, he refused to come out from under his towel. All we could see was a bit of black tail poking out and one yellow eye peering out. Apparently, no one ever chose him because he never emerged.
And so The Po became part of our family. We expected him to be very nervous but actually, after hiding behind the sofa for the first hour, we suddenly heard a loud purring sound and low! he came out, smiling in a cat like way, waving his tail and gazing at us adoringly. He has been like a retarded kitten ever since.
Actually, I love The Po Cat very dearly which is just as well as he has some rather unendearing habbits. Luckily, he has some good points too:
He likes having his tummy rubbed.
He doesn't go very far (only the neighbour's garden!).
He is like my shadow when I'm in the house (unless my 3 year old daughter is being especially bouncy).
He can't hunt for toffee (he once caught a live shrew to his immense pride but then he dropped it and I managed to retrieve it before he did. I took the shrew away to the other side of the garden where it scuttled off. When I returned, The Po was still looking for it where he'd lost it).
But to set against his loveable traits, there are some vile ones . . .
When Po arrived with us, he flinched whenever I went to stroke him, especially if I was wearing rings and he never seemed sure of himself. This translated into having all kinds of accidents of the toilet variety in horrid places. I had only lived with civilised felines before so it took me a while to clock what was going on.
The first time I realised the extent of the problem was when I picked a wet towel up from our bedroom floor and it was beyond wet. It was drenched. Surely it wouldn't have got THAT wet from being used after taking a shower? Then I noticed the rather unpleasant smell and the equally unpleasant conclusion dawned on me. THE PO!
After that, he wee-d on everything. Floors, carpets, sofas, chairs and his personal favourite, dirty washing. Everyone told us to take him back at that point but we couldn't bring ourselves to do it and luckily we didn't have kids then. Actually, as he settled it happened less and less and now, we only have the occasional accident but we are always suspicious of any wet patches in the house! Nice!
Po's latest delightful present was alas, only a few days ago when I started this web coding lesson - which is why he is the inspiration for my first page. The dratted cat left a big, smelly poo in my little daughter's bedroom. For some mad reason, we didn't smell it (you usually smell Po's Poo Presents a mile off) and my little one, in a silly bedtime mood, ran across her bed to avoid putting her night clothes on, tripped, slipped off the bed and . . . you've guessed it! Yes, she fell in it. Tears at bedtime. Extra bath. Sheepish Po Cat put out that night In Shame.
To be fair, he doesn't do this one often although my husband has muttered that it is unacceptable in a family pet but my daughter is now just shutting her door when she's not in her room!
Well, he is a mammal. I mean, I suppose we all have hairs, dribble and eat smelly food (I like curry myself) but sometimes we wonder why we share a house with a cat!
Just recently, my husband has developed an allergy in the house which leaves him coughing and sneezing and we're worried it might be Po hair. Thus, The Po is BANISHED FROM THE BEDROOM (which is only what he deserves considering the poo incident anyway).
However, I was in bed the other morning when Po arrived with his little endearing miow and his big, kitteny eyes and I had a soft moment and didn't push him off. Then I heard my husband coming up the stairs. BUSTED! I quickly hid Po under the douvet and casually strolled out of bed. Po didn't seem to mind being buried in douvet. He was less pleased when my husband, seeing an apparently clear bed, dived on to it with all his body weight. For one horrible moment, I thought I'd killed The Po, but luckily he managed to dive to safety before getting squashed!
It's the only time in my marriage than I've ever not been honest and I stand chastised. I will not do it again!!!!!
Better than wet patches but it is true that if Po has been contentedly on your knee for an evening, you are likely to have a nice damp patch where he has dribbled on you. How delightful!
Not really Po's fault since he can't choose what we buy him to eat I suppose but my word! Does his food SMELL? I'm pregnant at the moment and I can't abide the smell of Po's food, especially first thing in the morning, which means his breakfast is getting more and more delayed and he watches me mournfully while I make my daughter's breakfast and looks pointedly at his food bowl. He thinks I'm going senile and need some not-so-subtle hints.
ASSIGNMENT 1: Click here to find out about my cat!
ASSIGNMENT 2: Click here to find out about my horse!
ASSIGNMENT 3: Click here to find out about my rabbit, Princess (deceased)!
ASSIGNMENT 4: Click here to find out about Denny the Duck's Disaster
ASSIGNMENT 5: Click here to find out about my daughter's 1st letter to Father Christmas
ASSIGNMENT 6: Click here to find out what I've learnt during this course. Hopefully you'll agree I have learnt something!!
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