On this page, I'm going to share how a newbie to the English language might hear and ⁄ or spell words. Consider the single word English. It could be mistaken for the word anguish. Yes? Yes!! And the word Language could be mistaken for the word Languish. Ta da! Anguish Languish is a lot of fun.
Howard L. Chace is the author of ANGUISH LANGUISH.
The following are excerpts from:
1. "Little Red Riding Hood"
2. "Goldie Locks and the Three Bears."
And you can enjoy more here: Anguish Languish 'Ears to you!
WANTS PAWN TERM DARE WORSTED LADLE GULL HOE LIFT wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry Putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut".
Wan moaning Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset.
"Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainersi".
"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft.
Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.
"Wail, wail, wailI" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hutf. Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"
"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."
"0 hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den-- O bore!" . . .
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVED with her mother in a little cottage on the edge of a large, dark forest. This little girl often wore a pretty little red cloak with her little red hood, and for this reason people called her Little Red Riding Hood.
One morning Little Red Riding Hood's mother called her inside.
"Little Red Ridding Hood, here is a little basket with some bread and butter and sugar cookies. Take this basket to the cottage of your grandmother who lives on the other side of the forest. Shake a leg! Do not stop a long the road! Do not stop and pick flowers! Do not dilly-dally in the forest and under no circumstances, do no stop and talk with strangers."
"OK, mother," responded Little Red Riding Hood, and took the little basket and started off. . . .
WANTS PAWN TERM DARE WORSTED LADLE GULL HOE HAT search putty yowler coils debt pimple colder "Guilty Looks". Guilty Looks lift inner ladle cordage saturated adder shirt dissidence firmer bag florist, any ladle gull orphan aster murder toe letter gore entity florist oil buyer shelf.
"Guilty Looks!" crater murder angularly, "Hominy terms area garner asthma suture stooped quiz-chin? Goiter door florist? Sordidly NUTY"
"Wire nut, murder?" wined Guilty Looks, hoe dint peony tension tore murder's scaldings. . . .
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL WHO HAD such pretty yellow curls that people called her "Goldie Locks". Goldie Locks lived in a little cottage situated at a short distance from a big forest, and the little girl often asked her mother to let her go into the forest all by herself.
"Goldie Locks!" cried her mother angrily, "How many times are you going to ask me such a stupid question? Go into the forest? Certaintly NOT!"
"Why not, mother?" whined Goldie Locks, who didn't pay any attention to her mother's scolding.
"Because there is a large and wicked bear in the forest who often molests people. Little girls should keep away from that kind of animal, and stay out of that forest. That forest is much too dangerous for a little girl!" . . .
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